In 2012, we identified public figures whose lapses of judgment made them ideal candidates to receive a complimentary box of Focusyl. For each box delivered, we developed a faux press-release with a faux Psynex representative and released the videos on YouTube. Enjoy.
Focusyl aims to help turn Kristen Stewart’s focus from her indiscretions off camera to her performance on camera
Toronto, Canada – 2012 – Today, while Kristen Stewart of Twilight movie fame was in Toronto for the Film Festival, Psynex Pharmaceuticals shipped her a complimentary box of its all-natural, focus-enhancing supplement, Focusyl.
“In light of her recent admitted affair and the negative press therein,” said Mike Buckley, CEO of Psynex Pharmaceuticals, “I feel Ms. Stewart will benefit greatly from Focusyl’s ability to increase oxygen levels in her brain. It will make her capable of once again focusing on her prolific acting career.”
Focusyl to help Toronto Mayor Rob Ford focus more on reading. Or driving. Just not both at the same time
Toronto, Canada – 2012 – At 3:00pm today Psynex Pharmaceuticals shipped a complimentary box of its focus-enhancing, Mental Fitness supplement, Focusyl, to Toronto Mayor, Rob Ford, who was recently photographed reading while driving his SUV along one of the City’s most highly trafficked roadways.
“I’m sure it was an important document,” said Mike Buckley, CEO of Psynex Pharmaceuticals. “But in the interest of public safety, we want to help the Mayor focus on one activity at a time and those activities should be related to the duties of being mayor of a large city like Toronto.”
Focusyl to help President Vladimir Putin focus his efforts on building Russia’s democracy, rather than chasing Pussy Riot
Toronto, Canada – 2012 – Earlier today Psynex Pharmaceuticals shipped a complimentary box of its focus-enhancing, Mental Fitness supplement, Focusyl, to Russian President, Vladimir Putin, who incarcerated three Pussy Riot members for a recent, unauthorized performance of their anti-Putin song “Punk Prayer” at a Russian cathedral.
“President Putin’s hunt for Pussy Riot is taking his attention away from other matters of great political import,” said Mike Buckley, CEO of Psynex Pharmaceuticals. “Our hope is that Focusyl will help get his mind off Pussy Riot, and focused more on building a strong Russian democracy.”
Focusyl to help Lindsay Lohan focus her sights on earning a star on Hollywood’s Walk of Fame
Toronto, Canada – 2012 – Today, Psynex Pharmaceuticals shipped a complimentary box of its focus-enhancing, Mental Fitness supplement, Focusyl, to Lindsay Lohan, famous actress, singer, and socialite.
“Ms. Lohan’s recent deluge of public difficulties is certainly no secret,” said Mike Buckley, CEO of Psynex Pharmaceuticals. “We at Psynex sympathize with the pressures of life in the public eye and feel strongly that Focusyl will help Ms. Lohan focus on reestablishing her career as the talented Hollywood star we know her to be.”